i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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