Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
