Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Randomize
