I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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