i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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