if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
