my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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