when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
