I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
