Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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