Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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