It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
