She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
