I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
