just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
