STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
