He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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