If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
