I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize