and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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