It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
