is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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