The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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