i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
