There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
