Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
