why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
my poor anus
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
