My brain says no but my pants say off.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
