I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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