i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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