Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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