I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
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You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
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Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it