Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.