Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
