you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
