YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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