i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
