He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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