they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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