It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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