still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Boobs are out for the taking
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
