You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
