she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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