Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
