margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
