so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
