Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Send help, water and tortillas.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
