so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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