she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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