I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Watching her eat just hurts me
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
