I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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