So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
