Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize