If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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