i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face