i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Randomize
