Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
