She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
