Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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