I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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