my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize