her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
