dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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