I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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