What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
