He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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