Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
