I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
