it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
