so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
