Is it because I queefed?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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