i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
