Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
