She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
